I feel depressed. I never liked this feeling, I know it too well. Yet I don’t want to be around people. I want an answer no one can give me.
I don’t understand anything, I’m afraid I never will.
Get to know me meme: (1/5) Favorite movies, The Godfather."My father is no different than any other powerful man — any man who’s responsible for other people, like a senator or president. / You know how naive you sound…senators and presidents don’t have men killed. / Oh, who’s being naive, Kay?".
Cakes have gotten a bad rap. People equate virtue with turning down dessert. There is always one person at the table who holds up her hand when I serve the cake. No, really, I couldn’t she says, and then gives her flat stomach a conspiratorial little pat. Everyone who is pressing a fork into that first tender layer looks at the person who declined the plate, and they all think, That person is better than I am. That person has discipline. But that isn’t a person with discipline; that is a person who has completely lost touch with joy. A slice of cake never made anybody fat. You don’t eat the whole cake. You don’t eat a cake every day of your life. You take the cake when it is offered because the cake is delicious. You have a slice of cake and what it reminds you of is someplace that’s safe, uncomplicated, without stress. A cake is a party, a birthday, a wedding. A cake is what’s served on the happiest days of your life. This is a story of how my life was saved by cake, so, of course, if sides are to be taken, I will always take the side of cake.
I think I’m depressed. I’m just bummed out. I don’t feel fine. I’d rather not be at school today, I’d rather not be anywhere today. Maybe I’m over-thinking some things. Hopefully I feel better after class.
"You should kiss the ground you walk on if you were born in this country— take it from an old man who once had to wear the Star of David on his shirt. There’s a safety to living in such a diverse place. It’s much more difficult to brainwash a population that is composed of so many different nationalities and so many different viewpoints."
Hair’s getting longer, beard’s getting thicker. I want to grow them out and cut ‘em at the same time. I want to rip my double chin off. I like working out, but I like not caring about how many oreos I’ve had. I know who I am, but I can’t really understand why I do some of the things I do. I don’t like myself a lot of times. I’m cynical, bossy, sarcastic, a bit angry, I’m human. I am the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m doing something with my life. It doesn’t feel like enough though, I always feel behind. I’m angry at so many things I shouldn’t be, I want to change so many things I can’t. I’m very afraid that I’ll never amount to anything, I’m afraid I’ll become my brother. I’m 22 going on 23, yet I feel 18 in energy. I feel like I’m wasting time or that I just don’t have enough. People give me answers I’m never happy with. This is a snapshot of a person I will never be again. I’m 22 and I am like the rest of my generation; unsure, betrayed, angry, nostalgic, and scared. Because there are people who work and get lucky, and get to where they want to be. And then there are people who don’t. What if I don’t find my way? What if I do and it’s not what I wanted? I won’t know till I get there. I won’t know till I try. And that’s all I can do…try. For now, I’m unsure of who this guy is. I know aspects like the girl he fancies, the friends he loves, the times he misses, the things he regretted, what movies he likes. I can’t tell you what type of guy he is though.